My desire for truth is fervent and I want to know everything God wants me to know now! I don’t want to wait until I leave the Earth! How can I see myself as who I really am? I ask God for help but I feel that I am too selfish in my Earthly ways (irresponsible, obsessive in unhealthy relationships, impulsive, value possessions) and keep hindering myself from being able to hear God. Are these behaviors blocking my ability to listen to either God or my guides?